Posted by: maboulette | January 8, 2012

WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF A JESUS CANDIDATE?

Jesus from the Deesis Mosaic

By Christine Jenkins | Yahoo! Contributor Network

COMMENTARY | According to an article on ABC NewsRick Santorum states he told an interviewer that, “We always need a Jesus candidate.” Cool beans. I give the man kudos for being honest and open about his religious beliefs. My question to Mr. Santorum is, could you define what type of Jesus candidate you are?

Is he the “love they neighbor, turn the other cheek, forgive all sins” Jesus candidate? Looking at the violent state of the world right now, this is the type of Jesus candidate we might need to pave the way for peace.

Maybe he’s the “let’s help the needy, the poor, and the sick ’cause I love the lepers” Jesus candidate. We do have both rising numbers of poor, sick, and elderly in this country. All three are certainly issues that any presidential candidate should have some vague idea of how to address.

Of course, he could be the “you work hard and God will reward you because laziness is the devil’s work” type of Jesus candidate. I suppose some may claim that the poor, sick and the elderly are really just lazy, so this may be the right Jesus candidate for them. Truly what better way is there to solve a problem than to just ignore it?

Perhaps he’s the “I like you; so long as you aren’t gay or what I deem un-American — but I really love you if you’re rich” Jesus candidate. This Jesus candidate is quite popular now thanks to the tea party — not those original hooligans in Boston, but those well-dressed uptight guys you see on TV.

There’s always the “I can’t help you because you’re an illegal immigrant/black/any other race I deem not truly American no matter where you were actually born” Jesus candidate. Although such a narrow minded Jesus candidate will appeal to certain people, particularly those who long for the days of Strom Thurmond, Santorum may find this more divisive Jesus candidate slightly harder for the masses to stomach.

We can’t forget the “I’m going to rule by interpreting the Bible literally (as literally as one can interpret a book full of contradictions, that is) and declare that unless you are a rich, white, land owning male I won’t recognize any of your rights…wait, a rich, white, land owning male whose opinions agree with mine, I won’t recognize your rights” Jesus candidate.

Then again, he may that perennial favorite “I love your soul so much that I’ll bomb your medical clinic, slaughter you and your family for disbelieving in me, and try to stamp out all knowledge of you and your heathen religion’s existence” Jesus candidate. Granted this guy is much more of an Old Testament sort of Jesus, but they do say that the apple doesn’t fall from the tree.

There’s just such a plethora of Jesus believers out there, and they all believe that they are the only true believers; it can be confusing for those of us who realize that we are but wayward souls.


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